I literally cannot

Have you ever said that? “I literally cannot.” I have. Plenty of times, actually. It’s become quite a bit of a catch phrase when people do things that are ridiculously hard to believe or imagine. Or when a situation arises that I just can’t deal with at the moment (or ever, for that matter). I literally cannot. As if to say this is beyond all comprehension and I just can not spend another moment on it.

tenor

Well in those settings, I think the statement works. It’s more of an expression than a true declaration. However, in others it may be more of an issue than you would think. How so? Well, what we tell ourselves is usually what we in fact do. And when you speak to yourself negatively (silently or out loud, who am I to judge lol), you could in fact be self-sabotaging your efforts. There are have been scientific studies that suggest our language actually shapes the way we think, and that our sub conscience really does follow the things that we say. Therefore, it’s reasonable to conclude that our words really do carry a certain amount of weight. They have power. Actual, factual power. Tell yourself you’re smart and find a way to figure it out. Tell yourself you’re stupid and chances are…

8ctv

All jokes aside, though. This is serious business. By this line of reasoning, we really have the ability (and responsibility) to tell ourselves wonderful, beautiful things. In a world where there are literally thousands upon thousands of things that we have absolutely no control over, this is not one of those things. We can absolutely control what we tell ourselves each and every single day. And in that moment, we determine how things are going to be.

Ever heard the expression “the words you speak will be the house you live in”? Well apparently it’s true. And when responding to the question of “What would make you happy?” WebMD says “A new wardrobe, a faster car, moving to a different city? People often think these things are the key to feeling good, but experts say only about 10% of a person’s happiness is related to them.giphy Much more happiness — 90% — has to do with your general outlook on life. You can learn a lot about your own worldview by paying attention to “self-talk” — the conversation you have in your head about yourself and the world around you. Even more important, changing how you talk to yourself can actually help shift your perspective, too.”

But is a shift in perspective merely just looking at life through rose-colored glasses? Is it a lie to yourself method that just makes everything seem better when it really isn’t? Critics say no. The effects are real and not just some placebo pill to sugarcoat the awfulness. In fact, Psychology Today makes this interesting analysis:

Positive self-talk is not self-deception.  It is not mentally looking at circumstances with eyes that see only what you want to see.  Rather, positive self-talk is about recognizing the truth, in situations and in yourself.  One of the fundamental truths is that you will make mistakes.  To expect perfection in yourself or anyone else is unrealistic.  To expect no difficulties in life, whether through your own actions or sheer circumstances, is also unrealistic.

When negative events or mistakes happen, positive self-talk seeks to bring the positive out of the negative to help you do better, go further, or just keep moving forward.  The practice of positive self-talk is often the process that allows you to discover the obscured optimism, hope, and joy in any given situation.

– Psychology Today

Optimism, hope, and joy. What a powerful combination. You know, in the opening pic I was really going for a super fly extended stretch on my tippy toes. Didn’t quite make it, but it was a fun attempt. I laugh now, because the shirt I was wearing at the time says “I literally cannot.” And I’m pretty sure that’s what I was thinking – there’s no way I can do this. Now I wonder if that had anything to do with my failed attempt to get the perfect shot. Considering my balance and the way my equilibrium is set up, probably not. But still… it gives me pause.

So then, what’s the conclusion of the matter? All things being considered at the end of the day? Stop talking down to yourself. Stop being so negative. Yes, things go wrong and yes, we make mistakes. Yes, Mondays are Mondays and sometimes it rains. And yes close friends hurt our hearts and we lose people in death. But the choice is always the same, regardless of the situation – what shall we say to ourselves in the early morning when we just awake? How you answer that question can truly can be the difference between a good day, and a bad day. And with the way this world is currently set up, we can use all the good days we can get.

xoxo,
La.

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Ditch the Gloomies: 6 Ways to Brighten a Bad Day

So you know how you when you walk into a bathroom stall, you’re supposed to make sure the door is locked so that the next person doesn’t open said door wide as all outside to catch a full frontal of you, pants at ankles, nonchalantly seated, scrolling on your phone? Yea… it’s been that kinda day.

Continue reading “Ditch the Gloomies: 6 Ways to Brighten a Bad Day”

12/30 we was happy (National Poetry Month Challenge)

…and then suddenly all this poetry fills my head, and I write…

xoxo,
la.

12/30

it’s not the big things
not at all
like the celebrations or the milestones
but the mundane
the everyday
when i’m washing dishes
painting my toenails
sitting in traffic
it’s the nothing too particular
the not very special
the i’ve probably done this a million times in my sleep
it’s then
that i think of you
when i remember your scent
laugh at your laugh
when I’m not paying attention
when i’ve stopped building that fence around
– well everything –
that a scene replays in my mind
that a smirk sneaks upon my lips
that i steal a secret moment of silent reminisce
i can handle the big things
but it’s those little things
those fleeting moments that don’t mean much of nothing
that time when time doesn’t count
that i remember
there was an us
and we was happy.