I literally cannot

I literally cannot

Have you ever said that? “I literally cannot.” I have. Plenty of times, actually. It’s become quite a bit of a catch phrase when people do things that are ridiculously hard to believe or imagine. Or when a situation arises that I just can’t deal with at the moment (or ever, for that matter). I literally cannot. As if to say this is beyond all comprehension and I just can not spend another moment on it.

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Well in those settings, I think the statement works. It’s more of an expression than a true declaration. However, in others it may be more of an issue than you would think. How so? Well, what we tell ourselves is usually what we in fact do. And when you speak to yourself negatively (silently or out loud, who am I to judge lol), you could in fact be self-sabotaging your efforts. There are have been scientific studies that suggest our language actually shapes the way we think, and that our sub conscience really does follow the things that we say. Therefore, it’s reasonable to conclude that our words really do carry a certain amount of weight. They have power. Actual, factual power. Tell yourself you’re smart and find a way to figure it out. Tell yourself you’re stupid and chances are…

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All jokes aside, though. This is serious business. By this line of reasoning, we really have the ability (and responsibility) to tell ourselves wonderful, beautiful things. In a world where there are literally thousands upon thousands of things that we have absolutely no control over, this is not one of those things. We can absolutely control what we tell ourselves each and every single day. And in that moment, we determine how things are going to be.

Ever heard the expression “the words you speak will be the house you live in”? Well apparently it’s true. And when responding to the question of “What would make you happy?” WebMD says “A new wardrobe, a faster car, moving to a different city? People often think these things are the key to feeling good, but experts say only about 10% of a person’s happiness is related to them.giphy Much more happiness — 90% — has to do with your general outlook on life. You can learn a lot about your own worldview by paying attention to “self-talk” — the conversation you have in your head about yourself and the world around you. Even more important, changing how you talk to yourself can actually help shift your perspective, too.”

But is a shift in perspective merely just looking at life through rose-colored glasses? Is it a lie to yourself method that just makes everything seem better when it really isn’t? Critics say no. The effects are real and not just some placebo pill to sugarcoat the awfulness. In fact, Psychology Today makes this interesting analysis:

Positive self-talk is not self-deception.  It is not mentally looking at circumstances with eyes that see only what you want to see.  Rather, positive self-talk is about recognizing the truth, in situations and in yourself.  One of the fundamental truths is that you will make mistakes.  To expect perfection in yourself or anyone else is unrealistic.  To expect no difficulties in life, whether through your own actions or sheer circumstances, is also unrealistic.

When negative events or mistakes happen, positive self-talk seeks to bring the positive out of the negative to help you do better, go further, or just keep moving forward.  The practice of positive self-talk is often the process that allows you to discover the obscured optimism, hope, and joy in any given situation.

– Psychology Today

Optimism, hope, and joy. What a powerful combination. You know, in the opening pic I was really going for a super fly extended stretch on my tippy toes. Didn’t quite make it, but it was a fun attempt. I laugh now, because the shirt I was wearing at the time says “I literally cannot.” And I’m pretty sure that’s what I was thinking – there’s no way I can do this. Now I wonder if that had anything to do with my failed attempt to get the perfect shot. Considering my balance and the way my equilibrium is set up, probably not. But still… it gives me pause.

So then, what’s the conclusion of the matter? All things being considered at the end of the day? Stop talking down to yourself. Stop being so negative. Yes, things go wrong and yes, we make mistakes. Yes, Mondays are Mondays and sometimes it rains. And yes close friends hurt our hearts and we lose people in death. But the choice is always the same, regardless of the situation – what shall we say to ourselves in the early morning when we just awake? How you answer that question can truly can be the difference between a good day, and a bad day. And with the way this world is currently set up, we can use all the good days we can get.

xoxo,
La.

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Live. Your. Life.

Live. Your. Life.

So get this… everybody has dreams right? At some point in their life, young or old, rich or poor, happy or sad – everyone has had a dream. A goal. A wish. An idea of how “x” would be if “y” happened. So what happened? What thing occurred (or didn’t occur) that caused “y” not to happen. When did the dream die?

Continue reading “Live. Your. Life.”

Been a minute…..

Been a minute…..

… yea, I know. But see, what had happened was….

LIFE! haha

Life has had me crazy busy. Good! But, crazy. I have been busy in my ministry, planning an upcoming trip to Greece (yaaasss!! y’all know I love to travel), writing like crazy to finish up a piece for an upcoming spoken word show in Philly, spending some necessary quality time with family and friends, and I’ve simplified and downsized. Sold most of my earthly belongings (read: furniture, clothes, bags, shoes, you know – the good stuff lol) and moved from my oh-so-cute apartment to a cute little bedroom in a girlfriend’s town home. So it’s three of us chicas, living it up Living Single style and I’m actually quite happy. I still have far too many boxes and bags to unpack, but I’ve put together my new bed and my dressers have arrived. I know what you’re thinking – she sold all of her furniture and then bought new stuff for her room? Well, originally my plans were different but things changed so you roll with the punches, right? So, like I said… my new dressers have arrived and now to empty these bags and boxes and set up my new spot. Aside from being tired, I’m pretty excited.

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But what I was writing about was to tell you how my workouts are going! Well… pretty darn good. Not excellent – meaning I still could be better with my consistency. But, I’m down 11 lbs and my strength and stamina is on the rise. I’m adding my video from this mornings’ session below – today was a fight. But the “never miss a Monday” mantra is one I like to follow so to the gym I went…

 

I’ve promised to do better with my blog in the past… and failed. But… here I am, like my workouts, trying to be more consistent. I shan’t give up. (I’m surprise shan’t is a word – I wasn’t sure). But aannyyyhooo…. hope everyone has an amazing Monday! I’m trying my best to do the same 🙂

 

xoxo,
La.

10/30 balance. (National Poetry Month Challenge)

10/30 balance. (National Poetry Month Challenge)

So as you can see, I’ve feel far from grace on this month’s poetry challenge. 10 out of 30 on the 27th of the month is rather disgraceful. Buuuuttt, I’ve been sooo busy with my full-time, and then my internship, and then my ministry, and then… well, just life! Hence, the following haiku for my 10/30 piece:

10/30 balance

too far to the left
or maybe the right, balance
was always my thorn.

haiku.

for Troy… 4/30 (National Poetry Month Challenge)

for Troy… 4/30 (National Poetry Month Challenge)
This has not been a good day. Well, at least not this afternoon. Work drove me to tears, frustrated is an understatement, and well, I’ll spare you the rest but just really one of those days. Because I knew I had to pull it together fast and quick, decided to get some air (and food). Trying to stay on my healthy kick, instead of going for the sugary-chocolatey-anything-to-make-me-feel-better option, I went for the rotisserie and veggies, stuffed some of it down in the car (along with my feelings), and sat until I felt I could act like a big girl and go back to work. And then I got caught by the light. Such is life to remind me that even though I am still sitting here, frustrated with work and near tears, somebody out there always has it worse. So be thankful for what you have, even if it isn’t all that you want, and be kind to everyone you meet. You never know their struggle. This is for Troy.
 xoxo
La.
For Troy. 4/30

Second car from the light to be stopped by the red
I see you emerge
Cardboard sign in hand, ready to walk that walk
(But I’m sure not really ready)
I sigh…
Half cause I feel sorry and half cause don’t wanna be bothered
See I’ve had a hard and frustrating day
…you can probably relate

And I’m only out cause I needed a bite
you can… probably relate
I actually cried before I left out
you can probably… relate
But here you come
Cardboard sign in hand, walking that walk
And I don’t have to read it to know what it says
“will work for food” or something of the like
And I’m sorry you look so sad
And I’m sorry I looked away
And I’m sorry all I have is this
chicken-just-eaten-so-I-scooped-the-bones-out-right-fast
-and-all-that’s-left-is-rice-and-beans container
but – it’s yours if you’re hungry…
Thank you.
He says my name is Troy and that he’s down on his luck
Asks if I have work, anything will do
And that he’s just tryna make it, get back on his feet
And I have nothing.
Just this chicken-less box of rice and beans and tears eyes from teary lives
The light turns and so does he
Cardboard sign in hand, Styrofoam box in the other
Ready to walk that walk
But I’m sure not really ready.